Thursday 19 September 2019

Week 5 Story: The King of the Dead's Prison - Shadows Unknown

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
So for this week's storytelling I am going to attempt to just add some twists and recreate a new story based off of the Egypt stories that I took notes on. I think with this one I had too many details that I was trying to squeeze into a limited word count though. I wanted to try and tie in Egypt and the elements from the story but in the process I think I just got a bit confusing and lost where I was going. I am attempting to be a bit more creative in hopes for my revamping of the story to be interesting and entertaining to read. Also, I know this story is not up to the same caliber as my last story so please have patience with it. haha. So, without further explanation, here is my story for Week 5. Enjoy.

Source of inspiration: Egypt, Mackenzie, http://mythfolklore.blogspot.com/2014/06/egypt-king-of-dead.html

Shadow Bind (Google Images)


The echos in the cave reverberated violently back to the climbers that afternoon. Everything had been going fantastic up until this very point in time. Andrew checked his rope which was now cut and laying at the bottom of the cave. His team, scraped up and scared, anxiously awaited his plan to escape the depths of this unexplored cave. As his team assessed their wounds and what equipment was left, Andrew paced back and forth looking for a reason as to why or how this happened. His entire team was comprised of expert climbers, professionals, there was no logical way that this should have happened, unless, someone on his team was purposefully trying to sabotage this exploration.

Shaken from the fall and now paranoid that a member of his climbing team was out to injure or kill him or the others Andrew turned to discuss a plan of action. Looking up towards the opening of the cave the only thing to be seen was the now setting sun, a tiny pin-hole of light that shined down on the explorers signaling the hopeless feeling that was now settling in his stomach.

The team of climbers consisted of Andrew, the leader, Sarah, an expert in medical emergencies, and Keith and Kevin (the twins) who were trained climbing guides. All of these individuals were close friends, colleagues, climbing enthusiasts. It made Andrew sick to even think about the possibility of one of them sabotaging their climb.

With all the color drained from his face Andrew turned to address his team, "There, is no way to get out by going back the way we fell. We are going to have to find a different exit. The ropes have been cut and they are now useless. There is no cell phone signal and we have limited resources. We need to take care of any injuries we have now and move on to find an exit because we cannot stay down here much longer. But we have to stick together, do not split up no matter what happens." The already eerie cave fell to complete silence as the team contemplated the words just spoken to them.
Shy to speak Sarah stood up and silently started to wrap Andrew's hands where he had rope burn from attempting to stop the fall. The twins, Keith and Kevin, were already trying to figure out what food was left from the fall. Once everything was salvaged and injuries temporarily patched the team looked behind them into the unknown darkness that mocked their imprisonment.

Unfortunately the flashlights broke from the fall but luckily the twins had brought glow sticks and flares just in case. Each member took a glow stick and activated it. The green light bounced off the dark, wet cave walls creating for even more anxiety about what could possibly await them in the seemingly never-ending darkness. With the remains of the broken rope, Sarah tied all the members together with Andrew at the front to lead them, so that they wouldn't get separated. Hesitantly the group marched into the dark to look for their exit.

With the sun set, and the glow sticks as their only light source, the team carefully walked further and deeper into the cave. The only sound was that of crunching beneath the explorer's feet as they stepped and bated breath. About an hour into their trek to look for an escape, Andrew suddenly heard water but he didn't have time to react before he and his team were suddenly swept away into the violent waves. Being tied together made it difficult for the individuals to swim let alone keep their heads above the water. Yelling for help each time they were able to gasp for air their screams echoed off the cave ceiling. Andrew, stuck underwater and slowly losing consciousness suddenly saw a light above the water's surface. A large figure, unlike that of any man, reached out and grabbed the leader and the team out of the water. Waterlogged and switching in and out of consciousness Andrew only saw glimpses of light as he and his team were being dragged behind this large shadow figure.

Jolted awake by a loud screeching noise the team witnessed something horrific. On the cave wall in front of them were paintings of sins that each of them had committed while living. Hieroglyphics
scattered all over the walls next to the paintings told what each sin was and who it belonged to. No one was safe. Andrew, struggling to stand up, stumbled over to the wall and in the unknown faint light he was able to make out a story about the twins Kevin and Keith. While trying to make out the full story a growling came from behind Andrew and the team and all he could make out before the light faded was that of a monster made of shadows...



To be continued...




3 comments:

  1. Hi Zoe!

    This story was so good, it had me on the edge of my seat the whole time because I kept wanting to know what was going to happen. I could definitely see this becoming like a movie or something even (not sure why I picture Nicholas Cage lol). This is the first story I've read this semester that I will definitely come back to read the rest! I'm curious, how exactly did they end up in that cave in the first place? I think it would be cool to do a prequel as well.

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  2. Hello again, Zoe! Oh, this was fun to read. It’s almost like reading the prologue of an epic novel. I’m very curious to know what happens to Andrew! He seems like a cautious person, so I hope he makes it out alive from what (or who) hides in the shadows. I may suggest reading your story aloud to see how it will sound to the reader, while also catching any grammatical errors. I noticed the word “team” was used often—try using another synonym to balance out your writing. Overall, well done!

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  3. Hi Zoe!

    This story was so good, I was unable to guess where the story was going at any point. You are a really gifted writer and I am excited to see where the rest of your stories go in this class. I hope to come back in a few weeks and see you continue to create and expand on such a great foundation.

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